01 Feb The Moonlight Store
Is there something you always desired to have that you’ve never been able to afford? Maybe an object from a book or movie that you would give anything to call your own? What if I could tell you of a place where all these things could be found, where you could purchase everything from a cup of coffee to a copy of the Enchiridion. A place older than most civilizations and run by powers beyond our understanding. The following instructions were formed from a collection of records from people who have traveled to such a place and is a record of not only how to get there, but also some of the treasures that can be found within its vast interiors. Although it has been called many names throughout the years, most modern accounts simply refer to it as The Moonlight Store, for reasons you’ll see below. Before reading any further, a word of caution, although this place specializes in bringing people’s wildest fantasies to life, it does not do this in order to make your existence better. This is a business after all, and the one thing a business must always focus on is the bottom line. They don’t want your happiness; they want your payment.
To find The Moonlight Store, you must first find an appropriate building that it can inhabit. This can be done at any local chain or mom and pop grocer as long as it closes before midnight, sorry Walmart fans but 24-hour stores won’t work. Also, the store you choose cannot be in a strip mall or shopping commons. Management hates the competition
You must be alone to enter, store policy, and you will not need to take anything with you. No electronics, flashlights or sacrifices will be necessary to gain entry. The only thing you will need is a ride there. Although most vehicles will work, motorcycles and other bikes are not the preferred form of transportation. It’s rare for anything to go wrong at the store, but if things do go south, you’ll want to drive away in something with a door that locks.
Arrive at the chosen destination no sooner than 11:50 pm and no later than 11:55 pm, If you can’t make it within that window, simply go home and try again another day. It’s recommended to go to a location somewhere other than in your hometown, bringing them any closer to where you lay your head at night isn’t advised. Once there, park in any parking space you wish and kill the car, this shows them you have the intent to shop. Then, all you have to do is close your eyes and wait. See? No fancy conjuring skills or Ouija boards are required. These are businessmen after all so there’s no point making it difficult to find, and besides, they always want to make the sale. As time passes you will begin to feel light-headed, and your skin may even turn cold, some accounts even tell of whispers being heard outside their cars and what sounds like faint screams in the distance. These kinds of things are all completely normal and the effects will pass soon. When midnight arrives, a dull light will shine through your closed eyelids. The store is now open, and it’s safe to step out of the car. All the light from the night sky will be gone save for the largest full moon you will have ever seen, hence the name. The only other light will be the warm glow from the fluorescents inside the building before you. The store will look similar from how it did from when you first arrived, however, you won’t be able to shake the feeling that something about it is off. The paint won’t be quite the same color, the logo outside might have disappeared, and the windows will display new sales banners that you hadn’t seen before. Be sure to check these out before you head inside, the item you’re looking for could be marked down.
Once inside you’ll notice the store is larger than it appears. The interior will seem to stretch deeper into the building, with longer and taller shelves the further back it goes. Though this building is not endless, many have said to get lost in its expanse. Though there will be other people in the store you will notice that none of them are other customers, the ones there are workers and they will all be wearing matching uniforms. This is done to make you feel more comfortable and makes the staff seem more available to serve you. Don’t be fooled however, others are there, you just can’t see them. The products available are too numerous to list completely, so to make it easier, markers will rest above each isle’s entrance with a general description of what that respective section holds. Some sections include real-world possessions like alarm clocks or Ferraris, while others hold fictional items such as the Elder Wand and Poké Balls. Do note, however, that this store only deals with tangible objects. So, while it can’t make someone fall in love with you on its own, it can provide you with powerful love potions to use. If you’re having trouble finding something, the staff is always happy to help. But be aware that although they will guide you to what you desire, they may also try to sell you something else. These are seasoned salesmen who don’t like taking no for an answer, and they aren’t afraid to use dirty tactics to get you to buy. However, if you’re confident in your search and speak firmly to them about what you seek, they’ll take you where you need to go. However, If you’re seeking something that you’ve made up in your head like a pill that will make you invincible or a patch that lets you breathe underwater, be sure to go to customer service and ask to put in a “custom order”. They’ll do everything they can to make sure you leave satisfied.
After you have found what you need, if a staff member is not already with you, you will need to go to the front counter to make your purchase. Prices vary not only based on the item itself but also on how important the item is to you. For instance, a typical cell phone should only cost you a small fee, but if you were using it to replace someone else’s that you broke, the price will rise. I told you, these are seasoned salesmen, and they will read you like a book. They know exactly what you need and why you need it. Each price is made by the staff member in charge of your purchase. Some have been known to be very set on traditional prices for objects, but others, however, are always ready to haggle with the customer. These individuals can be quite understanding and will usually lower the cost. But be careful not to be too demanding, they know you need them more than they need you and being a rude customer could put you in a dangerous situation. Prices in the past have included nightmares for a week for something low and non-consequential. Higher on the scale could cost you one month of insomnia or madness. Previous shoppers even talk about having to hear the screams of hell for one hour straight. Though it may seem like a good deal for something large like a new house or superpowers, these people have reported hearing the screams in the backs of their minds for decades following, driving them to a certain degree of insanity. With all that said, if the price for an object seems too high, if that fully functioning time stopper isn’t worth guaranteed death by a
flesh-eating bacteria or a clone of your friend’s wife isn’t worth being attacked every night by coyotes, then you are free to turn down the offer and simply walk away. They will not try to stop you or send you to a special cage in hell for refusing to buy. They will happily let you return to your car and go home. But don’t think they don’t do this out of the goodness of their hearts, or because it’s the honorable thing to do. They do this because they know, sooner or later, you’ll be back. And when you do return, it’s almost a guarantee, that you will pay.
There is one thing I forgot to mention, a payment acceptable for all transactions and even encouraged in some. If you can’t muster up the courage to pay what is owed or don’t have the strength to endure the suffering that lay before you, you can always ask for store credit. A Faustian bargain that will guarantee you one hundred years of happiness with whatever item you’ve purchased. Free of aging, free of disease, and free of any misfortune that could come upon you. There is one catch of course. At the end of the alluded time, they will come for you. No matter where you are, where you hide, or how much you beg, they will come for you. And trust me when I tell you that death, would be preferred over what they will have in store for you. After the deal is made there are no returns or refunds. The store will close to you, forever, and all that you will have left is time.